Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
I shall stop scratching myself for a few minutes to write something… oh. Fail.
DAMN! Even when I stop thinking about scratching I find I am unconsciously attacking my foot with a cheese grater. Unconsciously is maybe not quite the right word there - that would be a pretty unfortunate affliction. Sleep-grating. Especially if you fall asleep on a bus and start going on the head of a little scottish guy in front of you (taking the name “carrot-top” to new extremes)…
Anyway I’m covered in mosquito bites right now, I stopped counting at about 50 just on my arms and legs, but they’ve actually moved onto my face now. They’re throwing little parties, the sadists - dressing up in rubber, handing out straws and just feasting wherever they find flesh! And there’s a lot of it, the amount of bites I have, I must have swollen up to 5 times my normal body size by now.
It’s tortuous. AND I got bitten by another evil death machine - a tiny little ant
.
Who would have thought that a thing that small could inflict enough pain to make your foot disintegrate!?! It grew back after an hour, but I have not forgiven the little f*cker. Everyone gets freaked out by the spiders in Australia, but its the ants that’ll get ya.
I have decided to declare war - I shall poison my blood with anthrax and in so doing wipe out half the population of bitey creatures on the planet (roughly the number of things that have bitten me so far). They can go to hell.