Sunday, February 24th, 2008
It comes from yummy yummy food 
mmmm I eat real goooood.
Which is lucky really because I use up one heel of a lot of energy in a day. (a heel of energy is roughly equivalent to 2578 kcal, whereas the less commonly used term ” bunion of energy” is more like 322 kcal - fascinatingly, this is roughly the same as a boiled onion.)
This weekend was an awesome energy consumer, and I bloody loved it!! Starting on friday with 5 hours of hula-hoop training and choreography, followed by saturday of making costumes, walking about 50 000miles across Bristol, then performing at an awesome club night in Bristol (Tribe of frog ) and partying like I’d never realised I had limbs before (woooooooo flailing dancing like a nutter), snatched 
2 hrs sleep before a full 6hr rehearsal session today on Chimaera’s big show for the year…. yeahhhhh and with enough energy to be bouncy and silly and have fun throughout. Rock on. But no wonder I sometimes eat like a camel…. er… bad analogy…..a really hungry camel in a desert who’s been taunted with pictures of custard trifle and jelly for 11 and a half days.
That camel would eat loads.
greedy camel.
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
So why haven’t I written for ages?
Well one reason is just extreme business (hooray!), but another is that I recently had a bit of a revelation about self-centeredness…
It really started after a training session a couple of weeks ago where I had been tired and trying hard not to be moody. I reflected on this to a friend from the session, saying/asking if I’d managed to get through the day without moaning too much! - his response, jokingly with no malice whatsoever was: “it’s not all about you, Loz!”
It’s not all about me.
So why do I so often act as if I am the centre of the world?
This is not the first time I’ve been reminded how self centred I can be. It just made me step back from the situation and realise that my mood defines far too much/little how aware I am of other people.
I later had a 5 hour train journey on which to reflect on this. And reflect I did. Some people are just very naturally giving of their energy to everyone they meet. The focus of any situation is almost always placed on putting other people first. It comes across in the most inocuous of situations - just buying a newspaper for example: not just treating the sales assistant as someone serving a function, but seeing the person who is working a long shift and just wants to go and eat lasagne in front of the telly (mmmmmm lasagne).
Basically I thought and reflected and pensed muchly on this train journey about the focus in my life - how I have my goals and ambitions and wants and desires… and how my sensitivity to others can so easily be overlooked by inate selfishness.
And since then I have felt different. I can’t quite explain how - just that I’ve
been more aware of other people’s feelings and needs (is there a way of writing that and not sounding pretentious?? I don’t think so). I’ve been just sending as much of my energy as I can spare into… well… other people I guess.
It seems utterly hypocritical that I should be writing a blog about not being focussed on myself!! Hence the lack of posts lately. However…. there is still a balance. I will never be utterly altruistic (how boring would I be then? ahhaha), and I still want to keep a record of experiences. So here we are again - a slightly different me, but not that you’d notice - I feel it though especially when it comes to bedtime, boy I’m exhausted these days…
So, quick update just for kicks:
Jan has been a no gig month, but a sort of reset and re-stock of direction in performance, choreography and general interest and projects.
Hula-hooping is the main focus of my training, which has also increased my work on stretching and pilates.
New FlameOz choreography learning with the beeeeaaautiful “headbalance” routine (see picture for a completely irrelevant image). I’ve been thoroughly enjoying FlameOz training of late too 
I couldn’t ask for more from a group training - everyone is so up for it, committed, artistically inspired and still with a huge taste for fun and games! yeah, I dig it
Chimaera projects are also going along well, and I feel better about the group than I have done in a while. Costumes are freshly in from Delhi and looking good; choreographies are being re-worked and learnt; and the group is just gelling really nicely with some new members. Nice one